So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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