Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
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I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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