Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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