Define "chronic" masturbator.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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