i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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