Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize