Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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