Your face is a jimmy john
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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