I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it's like iHOP with fire
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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