Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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