I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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