Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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