ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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