I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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