i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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