She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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