I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize