whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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