Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
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Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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