if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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