So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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