Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
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