I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
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My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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