There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
dude. I can hear the air.
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