i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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