Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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