She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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