Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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