Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize