so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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