There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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