What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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