garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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