I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize