In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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