I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize