So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize