Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize