I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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