everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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