Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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