How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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