Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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