it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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