"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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