Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize