I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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