so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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