I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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