They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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